Sunday, March 29, 2009

Scarred for Life

As a result of my recent accident, I now have two scars on the inside and outside of my left leg.  They are significant sizes - the scar on the inside of my leg is about 4" long, while the scar on the outside of my leg is about 8" long (keep in mind they are holding some good stuff inside like a sizable amount of surgical steel and screws).  I know people are in awe of my scars, and I'm not sure why.  I know they are not envious of my scars.  I know they wish the scars never even existed.  But, I also know that people love gore.  I think they just can't help looking at (and in some cases touching) the scars.  I find it amusing, and it's easy for me to talk about with people.  

I have had several people suggest different products that can be used to help conceal or lessen the scars.  While I appreciate the suggestions, I simply reply by generally saying "Thanks, but I like my scars the way they are".  I could try to say something philosophical about my scars (e.g., I look at them as a reminder of how unpredictable life is), but I don't think that's necessary or completely true.  The truth for me is that I don't want to hide them, because I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of them.  When I tell people this, they look at me like I'm foolish for not wanting to treat them.  Perhaps, they have had traumatizing experiences that resulted in scars (I hope not!) or maybe they just think my scars are ugly.  I don't ask.  But for my personal situation, I am indifferent to the appearances of my scars.  If they look better later in life - great!  If they look the same or worse later in life - fine!  I don't think the appearances of my scars will affect my confidence or my everyday attitude.  I won't forget how I got them, but I won't dwell on it either.  I'm just happy to be (generally) healthy again - scars and all.  


Friday, March 27, 2009

I can walk!

OK...I've actually been able to walk on both of my feet for a few weeks now with the aid of my walking cast (aka das boot).  But today I'm going to attempt walking without das boot for the entire day.  This may sound like a small feat to you, but it's not so much to me.  I'm a very active and independent person, and this injury was very difficult for me in that I really needed all the help I could get.  Of course, I will take your help if/when I need it (I was so very fortunate to have my family come to help me along with my great friend, MR, and my hubby that all helped me with all the simple tasks while I was laid up for 6 weeks), but I prefer to accomplish small everyday tasks on my own.  Something as simple as taking my dog out was pretty much unfeasible when I was hobbling on crutches and one leg.  So it's pretty exciting to be able to literally stand on my own two feet and get shit done, whether it's taking my dog out, going to the post office, or picking up some groceries.  I suppose working on research fits in there, too...  

Well, I've already taken my dog out twice now without das boot, and it's been great!  I feel like I can hear "born free" playing as I step out into the sun with my dog in tow.  Soon, I'll even be able to run again...but for now, I'll settle for the "cool walk" (as passed down from my dad).

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


I don't really have a purpose to this just provides a place for me to yap about crap (contrary to only thinking about crap).  Lucky you.

Actually...I was recently injured, and I really feel like a different person now that I'm getting more mobile again.  So much, that I got a new haircut and will probably shower every day.  I think this space will help me find my way to being an even better person (that's right, I thought I was a good person before).

This small blog is just one part of my purple life...